THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE SUMMARY

THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE

WHAT IS EFFECTIVENESS?

1.       CHARACTER

A flaw in character leads to a mismatch between behavior and attitude. It further leads to duplicity and insincerity, loss of faith and UNSUCCESSFUL

2.       PRINCIPLES

Paradigms are Maps. One cannot reach the destination with wrong maps even with extreme positivity. Any sudden change in paradigms leads to “Ha Ah” moment. Eg: When the picture of Old lady is seen as Young lady

You need principles. Eg: Fairness, Honesty, Integrity, Dignity, Service, Listening, etc.,

The way we see the problem is the PROBLEM.

3.       INSIDE OUT APPROACH

Start with self (Inside). Be Caring, Be Trustworthy, Be Loveable, etc,

EFFECTIVENESS = CHARACTER + PRINCIPLES + INSIDE OUT APPROACH

P/PC BALANCE: Production / Producing Capacity (Duck/ Golden Egg)

·         Don’t expect more Eggs (PC) and kill the Duck (P). Don’t just grow the Duck without any Eggs

·         Always maintain the P/PC Balance.

HABITS = INTERSECTION OF KNOWLEDGE, SKILL, AND DESIRE

INDEPENDENCE means I CAN DO IT, I AM RESPONSIBLE: PARADIGM OF ‘I’

INTERDEPENDENCE means WE CAN DO IT: PARADIGM OF ‘WE’

Being Independent without being Interdependent is like playing Tennis with golf stick: Highly Ineffective

First Three Habits: INDEPENDENCE

HABIT 1: PROACTIVE

1.       Pavlov’s Dog experiment: Stimulus and Response

·         We become the Dog which cannot control its saliva as the bell rings

·         Our continuous Exposure to certain situations lead to preformed responses. But we are not Dogs. We have

1.     Self Awareness: The ability to choose the Response

2.     Imagination: The ability to create a completely new Response

3.     Conscience: The ability to create Response based on existing Universal principles

4.     Will Power: The ability to continue in the chosen Response

2.       Dr. Victor Frankl,” Meaning to one’s life helps them live their life without depression.”

3.       It is not what happens to us that hurt us. It is how we react to them that hurt us. So react PROACTIVELY

4.       Reactive language: I can’t, I must do it, If only, he was good

Proactive language: I choose to, I prefer to, I will

5.       Responsibility = Response + Ability; The ability to respond to the problem

6.       Problems may be either in Circle of Concern (CoC: No influence over the problem, Expecting others to do better) or in Circle of Influence (COI: Clear Influence over the problem). Increase the Area of CoI

Problems may be 1.Directly controlled by us (Habits 1,2 & 3 are needed), 2. Indirectly controlled by us (Habits 4,5 & 6), 3. No control by us.

7.       You can PROACTIVELY choose the RESPONSE, but you have to face the CONSEQUENCE(THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STICK)

8.       EXERCISES

·         Think about your recent REACTIVE RESPONSES. Visualize yourself in the same situation acting PROACTIVELY. Do this Daily

·         Listen to your language ( Have’s or Be’s)

·         Take PROACTIVE CHALLENGE FOR 30 DAYS

·         Work on your CoI when you experience CoC

·         Don’t blame others for their weakness

HABIT 2: BEGIN WITH END IN MIND

1.       Think about your ‘FUNERAL’ in about 3 years time. What your family members, friends, neighbors, and colleagues would you want to speak about you in the FUNERAL SPEECH? List them.

2.       Write your GOALS with

·         Imagination: Undiscovered potential hidden deep inside

·         Conscience: Using existing universal laws

3.       Create your CONSTITUTION. Let it contain everything about what you have to do with everyone whom you face daily.

4.       Create your Principle Centered MISSION STATEMENT. Review it WEEKLY. ( It should not be Relation Centered )

5.       Use STRONG AFFIRMATIONS ( PERSONAL-PRESENT-EMOTIONAL-POSITIVE)

6.       Recall & Visualize the FUNERAL SPEECH, GOALS, CONSTITUTION, MISSION AND AFFIRMATIONS DAILY.

HABIT 3: PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST

1.      

 

2.       Shift your First and Third Quadrant to Activities to Second Quadrant. The More the Second Quadrant Activities, the More Effective you are.

3.       Avoid Fourth Quadrant. Lend others to do the 4^th Quadrant Activities.

4.       Plan Wisely. Follow the Plans wisely.

PUBLIC LIFE

·         Everyone REFLECTS your INABILITIES. So, Improve your Habits 1, 2 and 3.

·         Deposit more and more in your EMOTIONAL BANK BALANCE. It is a virtual bank account between you and everyone you face every day. Keep adding more LOVE, RESPECT, KINDNESS, AND FAITH. Deposit what the others like to have.

·         Keep your Promises

·         Be Unconditional in Love

·         Ask Apology for Mistakes

·         Avoid personal conflicts

·         All problems are opportunities if rightly handled

HABITS 4, 5 AND 6: INTERDEPENDENCE

HABIT 4: WIN-WIN SITUATION

1.       I Win, You Lose: leads lot of enmity and negative behaviors

2.       I Lose, You Win: leads to slavish behavior. Sooner, you will lose respect and worth. It causes Depression and Diseases

3.       I Lose, You Lose: disastrous like war

4.       I Win, You Win :

·         Don’t do anything unless WIN-WIN is possible

·         Requires BOLDNESS & KINDNESS

·         LAW OF ABUNDANCE ATTITUDE. Both can win. You just need to find the solution.

·         Emotional Bank Account Deposits simplifies the WIN-WIN possibilities

·         It leads to LONG TERM GOOD RELATIONSHIPS

HABIT 5: UNDERSTAND THEN TRY TO BE UNDERSTOOD

1.       Be Consistent with your behavior to earn FAITH

2.       Position yourself in the Speaker’s point of view. Observe keenly as much as possible. Don’t Judge, Advice, Oppose or Investigate while listening. Understand what actually they want to convey.

3.       Use your Right Brain. Be creative.

4.       Everyone loves to be Understood.

5.       Higher the Emotional Bank Balance, Easier to be Understood.

6.       Your advice is useless unless you have executed them successfully in your life or unless they ask one

7.       4 stages of Understanding

1.       Repeating what others told word by word

2.       Repeating with change of words/ sentences without affecting the meaning

3.       Expressing the emotion involved

4.       =2+3. Repeating the emotion with change of words

8.       Keep using this habit again and again with your closed ones.

9.       Observe other peoples speaking with each other with your ears closed. Observe things other than voice they use to communicate. Observe these things while listening others

HABIT 6: SYNERGIZE

1.       1+1 = 3 or 8 or 16 or 1600 or Infinity

2.       A High Deposit Emotional Bank simplifies SYNERGIZATION

3.       Differences are the beauty of Relationships. Respect the Differences. Respect and Think about their Views as such it is your view(HABIT 5)

HABIT 7: SHARPER YOUR AXE

1.       4 DIMENSIONS

·         Body: Exercise Daily

·         Mind: Watch Good TV programs, Read Good Books, etc., and Write what you have learned and share it with others

·         Spiritual: Meditate, Visualise your goals, Be Calm

·         Social: Show Unconditional Love to everyone you face. Encourage their positives. Help them change their stories.

2.       The more you renovate yourself with these 4Ds, the more you grow effective

3.       Don’t involve in anything that you are sure to feel guilty in the future

4.       What you sow is what you reap

5.       Be Trustworthy to others. Being believed is better than being liked.

AUTHOR’S NOTE

1.       Believe in God

2.       There is always a time delay between Stimulus and Response. As  your Emotional Bank Balance increases, the time delay decreases and  disappears

3.       Law of Deep conversations

4.       Relationships are true Wealth

5.       Review your story. Think about the necessary changes. Sincerely work on it. Make it worth watching.